1. |
Confessions
03:41
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You watch me like you're watching a ghost
If we weren't just two platonic friends
I wouldn't have spoke
But I can't sit in the dark and
Listen when you talk
Pretending you're not the one that I want
We sit on separate sides you're careful, I'm too reckless but
I hold my knees, the sky turns navy
And we know there's no us
Because we'll wake up in the morning
And act like nothings happened
I'll do it again if it heals you
But the house is asleep, and I fill empty space with confessions
You're easy to talk to so I tell you things that I shouldn't
You know that I'm not indifferent, oh I never was and I can't be
We get close to each other, then fall back apart slowly
You held me, shut your fist around the moments we stole
If we can't be, then gradually
I forget what I'm owed
So I can't sit on the porch and
Whisper like I'm your best friend
We're telling the truth, call it secrets
But the house is asleep, and I fill empty space with confessions
You're easy to talk to so I tell you things that I shouldn't
You know that I'm not indifferent, oh I never was and I can't be
We get close to each other, then fall back apart slowly
And it pains me to talk like this
Say I'm crazy for wanting this
But you're close and it's late
So I'm not thinking like I should
I'll tell you the half of it
If we should've, we would've been
So I'm waiting for you in vain
Like a lover would
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2. |
Feel This Once
02:55
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I was terrified of heights when
We climbed up on that bridge
Looking out at the Atlantic
This place I grew up in
One breathe before you hold it
I watch you like a child
With that same old reassurance
Your hair is wet, your eyes are wild
Ah convinced a friend
And you know I'd do anything
You ask of me
Ah we'll never build the courage for the right things
But I'd jump if you'd jump
Just to feel this once
Your voice swimming in my head
Cut my hands on broken pavement
Quiet anticipation
Your careless affection, I'm learning my lesson
Ah convinced a friend
And you know I'd do anything
You ask of me
Ah we'll never build the courage for the right things
But I'd jump if you'd jump
Just to feel this once
I feel it now
I feel it now
I feel it
I feel it now
I feel it now
I feel it
I feel it now
I feel it now
I feel it
I feel it now
I feel it now
I feel it
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3. |
James
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4. |
Retrospection
03:57
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I walk down the same street every night
Just to feel some peace and quiet
And the moon looks down on me
Wish I were tall enough to see her really
I play the same four songs over again
To feel the words hit my chest
And I cry when I see a grey car driving past me
I'm a mess, but I loved you the best
And I wish I could hate you better
Do you get ashamed when your mom says my name
Like I'm still in the room
And I wish that you loved me more
All the ways I was torn
In pieces for you
Wish I had held on harder
Where we sat on the fire escape
Did she pull you in or did you pull her
I just sat there in silence, didn't know what to say
And I wish I could hate you better
Do you get ashamed when your mom says my name
Like I'm still in the room
And I wish that you loved me more
All the ways I was torn
In pieces for you
Do you think about it
The last time you felt my presence
We stood on the front steps of your parents old house
The night I found out
Does it make you feel sick
I talk to the moon, tell her all about you
Inferior complex
Do you get ashamed when your mom says my name
I wish I could hate you better
And I wish that you loved me more
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5. |
For Lucy
03:33
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For Lucy
For Lucy
For Lucy
You lay on the floor of your new house
With the walls you painted dark blue
You talk to yourself
Never felt so alone
I call, you don't pick up the phone
He left you for another back in winter
Geminis and their ways
When you hesitated
I stopped trying
And I think about it to this day
But I write you letters sign them
For Lucy
I swear to god I'm trying
Can't you see
There's this space we made up
Between us
You lay in your bed with the lights on
What good is a friend if she's not home
And I'm trying to mend it
By being relentless
I don't know how to act, don't know what to say
You got stuck in a dark place when he left
And I tried to be there, oh I promised
When we were little kids
Said we'd give anything
But nothings the same
So I write you letters sign them
For Lucy
I swear to god I'm trying
Can't you see
There's this space we made up
Between us
And I hold my breathe and whisper
For Lucy
I called you my sister
Then watched you bleed
In this space we made up
Between us
So I'm standing on your doorstep
In the floodlights
I can see your bloodshot eyes
Oh nothings as I planned it
Are you alright
Are we alright
Oh I'm standing on your doorstep
With a letter
I wrote back when we felt so much better
Oh nothings as I planned it
But please just read
For Lucy
For Lucy
For Lucy
For Lucy
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6. |
Seven Steps Behind You
04:09
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Lightning love affair
We walk into the storm
By the haunted houses
We used to run past them
Now I look in the window
And I feel your breath beside me
Loosening my grip
I watch you fall away completely
And I was seven steps behind you
Trying to catch up
If I reach out and try to touch you
Would that be enough?
Reckless runaway
I dreamed that I was drowning
You stood on the shore
Didn't notice my arms flailing
When I went underwater
Saw a face I don't remember
She told me you don't love me
Just want to love somebody
And I was seven steps behind you
Begging for your love
If I reach out and try to hold you
Will it keep me up?
You said you were afraid of fire
Said you'd rather drown
And I follow you agreeing with
The things you talk about
And all the running in the world
Doesn't change the fact that
I'm always seven steps behind
Oh, I'm always holding on so tight
Lightning love affair
It's six in the morning
We walk into the storm
Just to watch it pouring
By the haunted houses
I stop by the window
And you just keep on walking
Do you notice that I'm always
Seven steps behind you, honey
No matter what I do
And I loved you first, I love you last
So I stay catching up to you
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Nadia Kamrath
love in its most fragile state <3
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